It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
