I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
