and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
