Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
