Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
