he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
