Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
