my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
