Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
