I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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