I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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