xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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