maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
