She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Let's paint friendship bongs
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
