Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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