He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
