and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
