$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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