how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
