Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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