ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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