Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize