Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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