Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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