I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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