I'm drive I can fine osifer
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
