I got chris browned last night
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
