I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
