Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
