Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize