The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize