47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
