so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
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Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We have started to decorate penises.
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I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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