Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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