apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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