i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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