I'm drive I can fine osifer
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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