I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
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So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
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Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize