You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
