What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
