I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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