One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
you made out with another girl for some wings
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
