I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
did you just send me my own nude
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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