What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
