Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
