It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Drake has all the answers
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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