there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I look better un-naked...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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