Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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