I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
