so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
