Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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