She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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