May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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