Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
