Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
