i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
