Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
