I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
