She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
