i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
