what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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