I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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